Teen Titans Guide to Dating
by CeleryScaresMe
Summary: OKay, the first chapter doesn't really fit in with the title, but you'll find out what it's all about soon. Full summary inside. RobxStar


Disclaimer: Do you really want to now what I don't have? I didn't think so.

Blog: Hello! And welcome to my second fanfic! Each Chapter we are going to tort- oops, I mean _interview _a different member of the Titans East! So give it up for our first vic- oops again, I mean _guest _Speedy!

Audience: (sarcastically and monotone) wooooooooh.

Blog: I can't hear you! (Cups hand to ear)

Audience: (crickets chirp)

Random audience member: Just get on with it!

Blog: (whips out machine gun from behind back) I don't hear enthusiasm! (Audience suddenly starts cheering and clapping wildly) **Much Better. **Anyways, come on in Speedy!

Speedy: (winks) hey girls.

Blog: what do you mean girls? You're saying that to cover up for the fact you're gay, aren't you?

Speedy: I AM NOT GAY!

Blog: uh huh. Then why are you so mad? Besides, everyone knows you're going out with Aqualad.

Speedy: I AM NOT GOING OUT WITH AQAULAD!

Blog: Okay, I have a test. If you can resist this handbag for five minutes you're not gay. No one gay or female could resist this. (Pulls out really nice pink and gold shiny sequined handbag)

All the female audience members and Speedy: OOOO!

Speedy: So shiny!...NO!...must resist temptation…must prove I am not gay… but it's every girls dream…so pretty… WORLD DOMINATION! (Pulls giant mallet out of pocket and starts attacking random things, audience watches with amusement)

Blog: Oh Speeeeedy! I have a pixie stick!

Speedy: Go my magic hamsters! Get the pixie stick! WEEEE!

Blog: okay. (Looks weirded out. Well, wouldn't you?) Strange. (Speedy does a fairy dance with a random squirrel) Okay, this is too crazy, even for me. On with the story! (In background Speedy starts singing the Barney the Dinosaur song, you know, I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you etc, Blog joins in)

* * *

**Teen Titans Guide to Dating**

**Chappy 1: **

Two girls are sitting on a white couch in someone's living room; there is an absolutely MASSIVE TV in front of them. The one on the left suddenly turns and says. "Alzie, I need some advice. It's about a boy." She has brunette hair and the biggest grey eyes you've ever seen. "You know I'm rubbish with boy stuff, I know what I would do, but I just can't put it into words." The other girl, Alzie, replies. "Wait a minute though! There's an episode of Teen Titans on right now, isn't there?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Good, you want to get some dating advice from the Teen Titan's themselves?"

"Are you kidding, what do you think? Of course I would!" she practically shrieks.

"Okay, okay, calm down Blog." She pulled a black object out from behind her back.

"Oh my god! Is that control freak's remote! Oh my god!" Blog yelled at the top of her voice. Alzie nodded. "Well? What are you waiting for? Let's go?"

"Okay, but first we need to get a few things sorted out.

One, you'll be a cartoon in there, so you'll look like really nice, haven't you noticed that in cartoons girls are either really pretty or like really ugly, and never in the middle. So because we're average, we will be some of the pretty ones.

Two, because you'll look good, you can wear whatever you want so just tell me and I'll make it happen.

Three, it's Teen Titans, so I can give you superpowers; again just tell me what you want.

Last, but not least, four, you can make up your own history and it will be true in there, you could be orphaned, brought up by monks, from another dimension, etcetera. Blog nodded with entusiasm and told her what she wanted.

Okay! We're good to go!" Alzie pressed a button onthe remote.

* * *

They appeared in the middle of the docks. Blog was wearing black flared trousers and a very tight grey almost silvery top with black elbowlength fingerless gloves. She had a black belt around her waist and the silver buckle had a musical note on it. She also wore a khaki green cloak with a hood; the clasp used to keep it round her neck was a silver leaf. She had a silver charm bracelet on with all different animal charms, and round her neck was a black thread with a silver cat charm on it. She also had a small silver ring on with a garnet in the middle the garnet was made to look like a full moon in a night sky. She had dark green eye shadow on. 

Alzie was wearing all khaki green, a short khaki green skirt; the same style as Starfire's and a top just like Starfire's too, except it covered her stomach. She even had on khaki green converse. On her arms she had material twisting round made to look like ivy growing up them. Her hair was done up in a hair band with a cloud on it. She had a necklace with a symbol of a flame on it in gold. On her wrist was a bracelet with a fish charm hanging off it. Her stomach growled. "Wow! I'm hungry! Let's go to the pizza place the titans always eat at."

"Okay. By the way, you did a great job with these outfits"

"Thanks!"

As they walked round town looking for the pizza parlour they kept getting strange looks. They could hear mumblings "are those new heroes? Or new villains? …Maybe it's just what people wear where they come from… whisper, whisper, whisper."

They finally arrived and sat down at a table on the terrace, looking at the menu and chatting. "So what should I call you?" Alzie asked, "I mean, should I still call you Blog still or your superhero name, Swift?"

"Call me Swift, I want to get a bit into character and used to the name. What about you, and what shall we say about our past and our family?"

"Um, call me Swallow and I think we should say that we are sisters, and our mum and dad both had bird powers, but strangely enough we inherited our grandparents powers instead. Oh, and we come from another dimension, 'cos technically we do."

"Right." 'Swift' nodded.

"Hello ladies, may I take your orders?" A preppy blonde waitress asked.

"Um, a deep pan cheese melt with black olives please, and a small salad." Swift said.

"Same for me but without the olives." The preppy waitress nodded. "I exist only to serve the customer!" She yelled happily and skipped off. "Okay… that was weird." Swift said. "Hey look, there's the Titans!"

"Where?" Swallow asked. Swift pointed. "Oh My God! You're right! Okay, so we have to follow them home and then if we see them running out of the tower to a battle scene we follow them, okay?"

"Sure! If we save the day, they HAVE to let us in, and then we can ask for dating tips! Good thing you made it so we fully know how to use our powers!" (A/N. How very convenient.)

Suddenly they heard something beeping and Robin yelling, "Titans, go!" They grinned, now they didn't have to wait. They rose into the air (yes, one of the powers is they can fly) and sped towards the scene of the crime, quickly overtaking the Titans for they had decided they should be super fast flyers just for this.

When they got there they saw that it was Gizmo Mammoth and Jinx robbing a bank. "Huh, piece of cake!" Swift said, flying towards them.

"What's the matter; the Titan's too scared too come themselves?" Gizmo, mammoth and Jinx jeered.

"NO, we're new heroes, and I want you to put all that money back right now." Swift said.

"And what will you do if we don't?" Jinx sneered.

"I'll scream!" Swift replied. The hive started laughing at this but suddenly doubled over clutching their ears in pain as Swift shrieked her loudest at the top of her voice. (A/N. one of her powers is music and this comes under that category, remember the note on her belt?)

"My turn!" Swallow said, blasting a whirlwind at them so they spun round and round, finally landing hard on the ground. The titans had arrived by now and were just staring dumbly. "Well what are you waiting for?" Swift flew over. "Call the police! Honestly, don't just stand around doing nothing!"

"Uh…right!" Robin said.

"Hello! What is your name, where do you come from, what's your favourite colour and will you be my friend?" (A/N. Bet you can't guess who said that!)

"Um, hang on a minute." Swift flew up to join Swallow and they both pointed their hands to the ground, fingers outstretched, then lifted them up in the air. Vines and roots came out of the ground around the members of the hive so they couldn't get away. They both flew back to the Titans. "Okay, my name is Swift, I come from another dimension, khaki green, black and silver and sure I guess."

"Glorious!" Starfire tried to sweep her up in a bone crushing hug but missed and fell looking confused.

"I don't do hugs." Swift said.

"You're lucky, Star's hugs really hurt." BeastBoy said, getting a stern look from Robin. "But she's only being friendly!" he added quickly. Robin nodded and BeastBoy sighed with relief.

Star quickly regained her composure and asked the same question of Swallow. "Uh, Swallow, same as Swift we're sisters, just khaki green and ok."

"Wonderful! Another new friend!" Starfire exclaimed excitedly managing to catch Swallow in a hug. "Air!" She gasped. "Star, I think you can let go now." (Robin) (Duh) "Oh! Of course!" Starfire let Swallow go and she bent over, gasping for breath. "Unlucky!" Swift said. "I know… I should have…seen it coming." Swallow gasped out. Robin's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, you should have seen that coming?"

"I mean, um, uh-"

"She can see into the future!" Swift cut in.

"Oh, okay." They both sighed with relief. "So are you new to this city? We haven't seen you around before."

"Well actually we're new to this dimension altogether. We travel the worlds, fighting bad guys and stuff. Hey, you don't know anywhere we could stay do you? We only got here about two hours ago so we haven't really had a chance to look around yet."

"Oh but you must stay with us new friends!" Starfire stated.

"I don't know Starfire, you remember Terra?" Robin replied. BeastBoy winced at the name.

"But friend Robin did Terra not save our lives?"

"Yes but she betrayed us and this time we might not be so lucky."

"Ah hem, we are standing right here you know." Swift cut in.

"Oh right, tell you what, you can come back for an interrogation and if me and Raven find you okay, you can stay for ONE night and ONE night only."

"That's fine with us. We'll look for a hotel or something tomorrow." Swift answered for both of them. "So shall we go?"

"Okay, we live in that giant T in the distance." Robin pointed.

"A giant T? Why? I mean I can tell you're super heroes from your outfits and the way you two," she nodded at Starfire and Raven, "are floating. But why?" She had the picture of innocence as though she didn't know a thing about it.

"Oh, we call our team the Teen Titans." Robin replied. "Hence the T"

"Oh, that's kinda cool." Swallow said. "Is that you're car?" She asked, pointing at the T-car.

"Yeah, that's my baby." Cyborg says. "And I don't think you two will fit in with the rest of the team."

"That's okay, we'll fly behind." They said at exactly the same time.

"You sure, 'cos Star and BB can fly, CAN'T YOU, BB?"

"Um, yeah, sure." BeastBoy said unwillingly.

"Don't worry, I love flying, it's so much fun!" Swift said. BeastBoy looked relieved, then had a thought.

"What about you, Swallow?"

"Oh, um, I'll fly too."

"Okay, everybody get your butts in the car now and let's go, I'm hungry for a big juicy steak." Cyborg said as they all scrambled in. BeastBoy winced at the last bit.

"Dude! You know I'm a vegetarian! I've BEEN a cow before, I know how it feels!" They heard him say as the car raced off.

Swift and Swallow rose into the air. "Well, this is going well. How long should we stay here for, and how can we afford a hotel? We don't have any money for this place." Swallow asked.

"We'll just have to get jobs and ask for our money in advance so we can stay in a hotel for a bit until we get them to let us stay at the tower again. And we shall stay until we get dating advice from each of them AND we get Starfire and Robin together."

Swallow nodded. "They are so perfect for each other!"

"I know!" They both giggled like to little school children.

* * *

"Okay, first question: what are your names and where do you come from?" Robin asked. 

"Okay, first of all that's TWO questions and second we already told you, I'm Swallow, she's Swift, and we're sister's from another Dimension."

"I know that, what are your REAL names and what dimension do you come from?" he repeated.

"We don't know what you would call it here, but we just call it the first dimension (A/N. I've no idea if this is true) and we'll only tell you our real names if you tell us yours." Swift replied this time. Robin went bright red at the last bit but regained his composure and carried on.

"Question two: what powers do you have."

"We have different powers." Swallow said, "And we develop them one by one, each one is stronger than the last. Each person with powers there -for not everyone has, it just runs through certain families- is born with the ability to fly and super strength. Then gradually we develop new ones, for instance, when I was two I developed power over earth, but not as strongly as my sister developed it when she was six because she developed it over all nature, not just earth which is why I needed her help with the vines and roots that trapped that girl and those two boys."

"The Hive, Gizmo, Mammoth and Jinx" BeastBoy cut in.

"Yeah, and then when I was six I developed my power over fire, which is quite strong, then when I was ten it was air, which is even stronger and then lastly water, when I was 14, which is the strongest. In my dimension they call me an elemental."

Swift nodded, "yeah, like Swallow said, I developed power over nature when I was six but before that I developed power over music and sound at the age of three. I was quite late into my first power, most people come into it at two, but it just made me stronger. It means I can sing people to sleep and stuff like that. And then, when I was10 I could move time but I'm not very good at it and can only use it in short bursts and when the moon is out, it is very tiring, the moon gives me energy for it for some reason. And finally when I was 13 I got the ability to copy other people's powers. Everyone was very excited when we were 14 after Swallow got the ability to move water, because there has never in about a thousand years been an elemental and a copier born into the same family, let alone as twins. (A/N. these girls sure are good liars, aren't they?) And the last ones saved the world, and weare proving to be even stronger than them. We don't have complete control yet though, so we travel the dimensions trying to get better."

"Okay, so why'd you decide to become superheroes?"

"Well, like Swift said, we need to hone our powers and fighting skills, so what better way than fighting for justice and saving people EVERYWHERE not just our dimension."

Robin looked over at Raven, "have they been telling the truth?"

"As far as I can tell," she replied.

"Good, we'll see how you fair on the obstacle course tomorrow if there's no crime. Now I think we should get some sleep, it's like 11 O'clock. You two will have to share, there's only one spare room. If you end up staying longer with us, we'll clean out the study we never use. Any questions?"

Um, just one." Swift stuck up her hand.

"Yes?"

"Why are you dressed up as a traffic light?"

Robin went red. "BeastBoy, show them to their room." He just said. Everyone walked off and BeastBoy beckoned for them to follow him. When they stopped at the door they realised it still had the name Terra on it, but decided not to ask. BeastBoy punched in the code (1079) and the door slid open revealing Terra's room exactly as it had been before she left but with an extra mattress. BeastBoy had already walked off, the wounds were too tender still for him to see it. Swift ran in giggling, "Bagsies on the bed!" she yelled jumping on it.

"Hey, no fair! Where did this mattress come from anyway?

"Raven probably teleported it up here."

"Oh, that'll be it. Tomorrow we'll start asking what the guys know about dating, after the obstacle course. Right? Right? Swift? Blog?" But it was no use, Swift had already fallen asleep. With a sigh Swallow rolled over and fell asleep too. It had been a tiring day.

* * *

**So what do you think? Please review! They mean everything to me, but remember this is my second fanfic so be nice! Also, flames are accepted but make them so I know what I'm doing wrong and can improve. **


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